(Written by Sarah Aiono) I became a Mum when my son was 4 and a half years old.  I moved in with my (now) husband and took on the responsibility and role of Step-Mum to my gorgeous son.  Prior to this, my experience with children had only been as a fairly new primary school teacher.  At first, I was very cautious as to my role as we initially had shared contact arrangements with his biological mother.  I treated the relationship as if I were in his biological mother’s shoes.  I respected the fact that I was not his mother, and that I did not have the relationship that I presumed they had.  I reiterated to him and to her that I was his ‘other mother’ – there for him to do the ‘Mum stuff’ when she was not around.  I saw their relationship through my eyes – the way I would expect any relationship of mine to be with my future biological children.  This would be how I would view a step-mother arriving on the scene should I be so unfortunate as to be separated from my children’s father.  But as her behaviour and lack of responsibility deteriorated, and my contact with my son increased to the point of being his full-time caregiver alongside my husband, my first lesson as a step parent was learned.  Other parents don’t parent how we do.  Mothers come in all shades of grey.  And my son’s biological mother was on the slippery slope to damaging their relationship permanently. [Read more...]