Timeless Wisdom In Funny Parenting Quotes

Funny Parenting quotes(Written by Elle Yi) Child parenting is likely to concentrate anger management. Parenting quotes can be some of the fundamentals of raising a child.  Parents could relate them to their own situation and they also realize that “I am not the only one in the line of fire”.

Parenting humor and funny parenting quotes can assist moms and dads when the issues involving parenting get tough. Read funny parenting quotes to have inspiration to be the best parent and learn new parenting techniques.

Funny parenting quotes by Bill Cosby are about any human being in every age group. From dirty diapers to rebellious teenagers, parenting quotes might help moms and dads deal in any situation.

Some hilarious and funny parenting quotes by ParentingInformer are certain to crack smiles on the faces of parents everywhere.

  • “I don’t think my parents liked me. They put a live teddy bear in my crib.” ~ Woody Allen
  • “It kills you to see them grow up. But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn’t.” ~ Barbara Kingsolver
  • “Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.” ~ Bill Cosby
  • “You can learn many things from children. How much patience you have, for instance.” ~ Franklin P. Jones
  • “Few things are more satisfying than seeing your own children have teenagers of their own.” ~ Doug Larson


  • “Having children makes you no more a parent than having a piano makes you a pianist.” ~ Michael Levine
  • “Never have children, only grandchildren.” ~ Gore Vidal
  • “You can’t scare me. I have children! ” ~ Garfield
  • “My parents used to take me to Lewis’ department store in Glasgow. They were skinflints, they used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was the zoo.” ~ Billy Connolly
  • “A parent who has never apologized to his children is a monster. If he’s always apologizing, his children are monsters.” ~ Mignon McLaughlin


  • “It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner.” ~ Ben Bergor
  • “The reason grandchildren and grandparents get along so well is because they have a common enemy.” ~ Author Unknown
  • “Like all parents, my husband and I just do the best we can, and hold our breath, and hope we’ve set aside enough money to pay for our kids’ therapy.” ~ Pfeiffer
  • “The truth is that parents are not really interested in justice. They just want quiet.” ~ Bill Cosby
  • “Mothers are all slightly insane.” ~ J.D. Salinger


  • “If evolution really works, how come mothers only have two hands?” ~ Milton Berle
  • “Parents are the bones on which children cut their teeth.” ~ Peter Ustinov
  • “Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework.” ~ Bill Cosby
  • “Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home.” ~ Bill Cosby
  • “Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.” ~ Erma Bombeck


  • parenting quotes“We spend the first twelve months of our children’s lives teaching them to walk and talk and the next twelve telling them to sit down and shut up.” ~ Phyllis Diller
  • “If your kids are giving you a headache, follow the directions on the aspirin bottle, especially the part that says, ‘keep away from children.” ~ Susan Savannah
  • “Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.” ~ Bill Cosby
  • “Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.” ~ Ed Asner
  • “Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.” ~ Bill Cosby
  • “I don’t know why they say, “you have a baby.” The baby has you.” ~ Gallagher
  • “People who say they sleep like babies usually don’t have them.” ~ J. Burke
  • “If your baby is “beautiful and perfect, never cries or fusses, sleeps on schedule and burps on demand, an angel all the time,” you’re the grandma.” ~ Theresa Bloomingdale
  • “No animal is so inexhaustible as an excited infant.” ~ Amy Leslie
  • “Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home.” ~ Phyllis Diller

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